By Nora DeLigter
Listen, it is not as though getting an apartment in New York has ever been easy. But one could probably argue it has never been harder than it is right now. Across the five boroughs, the most god-awful studios are regularly renting for thousands and thousands of dollars, complete with lines of desperate, prospective tenants wrapping around the block and out the door. Amid this relentless housing crunch, renters are forced to comb through the digital ether to find the listings that are actually worth looking at, actually worth the cost, and surprisingly affordable for those coveted parquet floors.
In an effort to maintain some semblance of sanity this week, a deliberate choice was made to go shopping for houses—meaning actual houses for sale in addition to standard rental apartments. Following a wave of feedback on last week’s more nihilistic tone poem, the decision was made to put on a happy face about the current state of the housing market. Painful as that may be in the face of soaring rents, a heavy dose of optimism is a vital part of any city-dweller’s DNA. Whether you were born and raised here or moved to the metropolis and plan to stay indefinitely, a healthy mix of hope and sheer delusion is practically a prerequisite.
What also becomes glaringly obvious when surveying the market is the sheer scale of modern pricing. A shocking number of two-bedroom apartments now command more than $4,000 a month if you are renting, and over $1.5 million if you are buying. Previously, such numbers might have drawn an immediate scoff, but in the spirit of bringing positive vibes to this week’s roundup, those reactions are swallowed whole. There are also quite a few townhouses hovering around the $2 million mark for sale, primarily concentrated in neighborhoods like Crown Heights and Bed-Stuy. This reality invites one of the city’s favorite forms of psychological escape: looking at a $2 million house and thinking, Well, obviously I’d just redo the kitchen. As if, after somehow scraping together $2 million to secure the property, a buyer would magically have another $150,000 lying around to overhaul the cabinetry and appliances. The rest of the absurdity of the market is left for everyone else to navigate. Good luck out there, and remember to keep thinking positive thoughts.
When looking at specific rentals currently capturing attention across the internet, the offerings range from historic charm to head-scratching photographic choices. Take, for instance, a studio listed at 213 Hancock Street in Brooklyn going for $2,750. There is a strong school of thought dictating that if you are going to live in a studio apartment, you need an absurdly ornate piece of decor to anchor the space, such as a turn-of-the-century fireplace. It matters very little that the massive hearth takes up precious square footage; it is simply fabulous.
Not far away at 313 Macon Street, a one-bedroom is listed for $2,900. It truly boggles the mind why the listing photographer chose to stand deep inside the kitchen to capture the space, but once you manage to exit that dark and unremarkable cooking area, you are met with cheerful, abundant sunlight and classic parquet flooring. Over on Greene Avenue, a $3,850 one-bedroom at number 713 offers a charming enough floor-through layout featuring wide-plank wood floors and a kitchen oven that is considerably nicer than it strictly needs to be.
Meanwhile, a three-bedroom apartment at 55 Bainbridge Street is asking $5,500. This represents a rather criminal price point considering the somewhat bleak state of the bathroom, which likely explains why the unit has lingered on the market. Savvy apartment hunters might want to keep an eye out for an eventual price drop on this otherwise pleasant brownstone duplex—a prime exercise in maintaining residential optimism.
Heading northward to Manhattan, the photographic mysteries continue. A one-bedroom at 867 West 181st Street is listed for $2,600, yet the listing photos were inexplicably taken at night. Conducting real estate photography after dark is a surefire way to undercut a property’s visual value by at least five percent, but ultimately, that oversight works out better for the renter’s wallet. Further uptown at 182 Bennett Avenue, a two-bedroom apartment priced at $3,450 features a architectural feature that instantly elevates heart rates: a classic sunken living room complete with wrought-iron gates.
For those eyeing the Upper West Side, 47 West 84th Street offers a handsome one-bedroom for $3,600. The space successfully bridges the gap between ornate, original historic details and sleek modern finishes, with muddy terra-cotta tiles in the bathroom that exert a powerful pull on potential tenants. Moving toward the river, a lovely prewar apartment in great condition sits at 265 Riverside Drive, offering a one-bedroom in an elevator-and-doorman building for $4,750.
At the higher end of the rental spectrum, a two-bedroom at 2586 Broadway asks $6,100. It remains a minor mystery why the unit commands such a steep price, particularly given the total lack of an in-unit washer-dryer, though the sheer volume of space leaves plenty of room for creative interior styling. Similarly, an $8,000 three-bedroom at 740 West End Avenue presents an expensive prewar layout featuring a kitchen and bathroom that do not necessarily scream luxury at that price point—unless, of course, you rarely cook or use the facilities.
For those in a position to transition from renting to buying, the sales market offers its own unique brand of architectural triumphs and financial daydreams. On West End Avenue at number 885, a three-bedroom co-op is listed for $1.65 million. It is difficult to understand why such a beauty remains unsold, given its gorgeous double-height ceilings, pristine parquet floors, and nearly enough wall space to accommodate a grand piano.
Down in Brooklyn, a converted church at 401 Hicks Street features a two-bedroom unit currently listed for $1.75 million following a $46,000 price drop. While the bathroom tilework betrays the unmistakable touch of a developer who allowed an algorithm to make aesthetic decisions, the structural bones are remarkably strong, the double-pane casement windows are lovely, and the overall property offers plenty to appreciate.
For those with deep pockets and a taste for the theatrical, 712 Broadway in Noho offers a two-bedroom for $3.4 million. Exposed brick serves as the prevailing theme throughout, and according to the official listing description, this special property captures the true spirit and essence of its neighborhood. This naturally raises the lingering question: Is the true spirit of Noho supposed to resemble a subterranean Roman bathing complex?
Back in Brooklyn, a prewar building along Eastern Parkway at the Woodrow Wilson houses a three-bedroom listed at $1.75 million. It pairs an unfortunate kitchen with otherwise beautiful structural bones, though it is hard not to notice a few distinct interior design choices, such as chairs wrapped in restraints that feel downright hostile, paired with a velvet-tufted couch reminiscent of a 2002 Dell desktop computer. Meanwhile, at 1094 Park Place, a four-bedroom home priced at $3.495 million looks as though an enthusiastic television network got its hands on a Gilded Age mansion with somewhat mixed results. Fortunately, the alterations appear to be mostly cosmetic, leaving the magnificent balustrades, stained glass, and rich mahogany built-ins entirely intact.
For loft enthusiasts, 62 Washington Avenue offers a nearly perfect one-bedroom space for $1.825 million, complete with soaring ceilings, exceptional bookshelves, and an in-unit washer-dryer. It is undoubtedly luxurious, though the asking price remains remarkably steep considering its industrial location practically inside the Navy Yard. And for those seeking pure comedy, a studio at 331 Vanderbilt Avenue is listed at an eye-watering $4 million.
Assuming that very few people have an unallocated $4 million sitting around to drop on a tiny studio, looking at high-end real estate provides a welcome indulgence in fantasy shopping. Consider two vastly different properties sharing a virtually identical hypothetical budget.
First is an entire historic townhouse located at 266 West 71st Street. Spanning 3,520 square feet, the four-bedroom, four-and-a-half-bathroom residence boasts an immense volume of original architectural details waiting to be meticulously restored. For anyone willing to sink even more capital into a property, it offers the ultimate opportunity to play preservationist.
Alternatively, there is a remarkably grand two-bedroom co-op at the Apthorp, a heavily coveted building that has long served as architectural daydreams for design enthusiasts. While it offers roughly half the square footage of the West 71st street townhouse, living in one of the city’s most majestic prewar fortresses carries its own distinct prestige. The previous owners clearly embraced this responsibility, committing fully to a neoclassical aesthetic featuring dripping chandeliers, Corinthian columns, and gold-leafed ceilings. Naturally, the building includes a full staff of doormen, accompanied by the minor matter of $3,563 in monthly maintenance fees following the $4 million-plus purchase price. In the end, the New York housing market remains an exercise in imagination, endurance, and finding beauty wherever the listings happen to hide it.
